The Blue Cow Statue
by ACT II
Summary: Luigi is tired of being pranked on, so what does he do when he finds a device through which he can use his new power and take revenge by putting the Smashers through various challenges and obstacles?... Oh I just said it... This Chapter: A box of spagetti
1. Lucario's Secret

This story was inspired by a blue cow statue in the cafiteria at school, so yeah.

**DISCLAIMER: **I don't own things appearantly.

* * *

**The Blue Cow Statue**

* * *

Luigi ran for the phone, which was ringing. He ran to a stop and placed the old-fashioned telephone's separate mouth and earpieces to their appropriate receiving locations on his head.

"Hello, is your refrigerator running?" Peach said, uncontrollably giggling while executing the prank phone call.

"Yes…?" Luigi replied,

"Well go catch up!" Peach giggled violently, violently because she uncontrollably slapped Bowser around and threw him into bookcases to wear off some of the energy from the high of doing the risky phone call joke.

Luigi looked out of a window in time to see the refrigerator run past it.

Luigi tore out the front door.

The fridge looked behind itself, "Oh no!" it cried and ran off.

Later…

Luigi finished chaining the household food-preserving machine in its proper position with chains made for cruise ship anchors.

"I wonder why it became animate all of a sudden since last Saturday…" Ike pondered,

"I don't know…" Luigi mused.

"One thing… WHY AM I CHAINED TO THE FRIDGE?" screamed Ike, who was suspended from the ground by the chains.

Luigi explained while making him hold an anchor.

"Oh… WHY AM I HOLDING THIS ANCHOR?" Ike screamed again.

Luigi explained.

"Oh… WELL I AM GOING TO SET IT DOWN NOW." Ike screamed a third time.

Ike set it down.

…

"THERE." Ike spoke,

…

Luigi exited the room only to be met by Peach in a stiff, bulky phone costume, "I got you!"

Peach then ensued in doing the cancan somehow inside the costume while singing the 'I just prank called you with that one famous one and by one I mean prank phone call joke, the second time I said one in this sentance and not the first, so you don't get confused if you did' song.

"I just prank called you with that one famous one and by one I mean prank phone call joke, the second time I said one in this sentance and not the first, so you don't get confused if you did!" sang Peach.

Peach accidentally kicked herself in the head and fell down a flight of stairs twitching and smiling.

"I wish people would quit messing with me! Why must I be stereotyped as a loser because I am a not so good a clone of Mario or at least that's how I started out!" ranted the plumber.

Luigi then noticed the costume at the bottom of the stairs was empty.

"AH!" yelped Luigi in fear.

"BOO!" Peach cried into his ear.

Luigi jumped, smashing his head through the ceiling.

Luigi, dazed, looked at his surroundings: a cow was in the corner of the room

Luigi stared at it.

The cow started mooing and walking over to him with a hungry look on its face.

Peach and Link watched as Luigi's body thrashed around and screams of horror and moos were heard on the floor above.

"Attention! All Smashers report to the first floor dining hall." Came a voice from the intercom.

"Luigi… go… look at… the bath… room…" Captain Falcon snickered, pulling Luigi out of the hole in the ceiling.

"This better not be a prank… I'm so sick of you all messing with me all the time!" The plumber sighed,

Luigi opened the bathroom door to find a horse; it whinnied and chased Luigi off into the mansion ravenously.

* * *

Peach, Ike, and Luigi were the last to arrive; Ike hopping around tied to the living refrigerator with out touching the ground, Luigi with the horse's mouth up to his left shoulder in an attempt to devour him whole, and Peach, well she was a stick figure made out of peaches like usual. What? I'VE PLAYED THE GAME BEFORE I SWEAR.

All of them waited in silence sitting at the table.

Minutes and minutes passed.

"Is anyone else hungry?" asked Pikachu.

Link leaned back on his chair, dosing off. His sleepy incapacitation caused him to lean back until he lost balance and fell backwards.

Mario burst out laughing at the moment, pounding his fist on the table and pointing, he started to hyperventilate, then fell onto the table unmoving.

They stared.

Some blood came out.

"AH! Someone call 911!" screamed Lucas.

Toon Link grabbed Kirby and tried dialing him.

"What are you doing?" asked Kirby, being repeatedly poked in the eyes.

"Oh you aren't a novelty Kirby phone..." Toon Link said,

Then everyone stopped caring.

Then everyone started caring again.

"I NEED A MEDICAL KIT STAT!" screamed Fox, getting on top of the table and hanging onto the moving ceiling fan.

Everyone decided Ike should go after a ten-minute discussion about it.

Fox lost grip and flew through the mirror placed on the wall.

Ike hopped out of the room with the refrigerator.

"Stupid… people…" grunted Ike, throwing the weight to move forward. He found it, in which it had been on his head the whole time, and returned.

Ike, with his teeth, threw the kit onto Fox, who was just becoming conscious, until the kit hit him in the head.

Then the blood went back into Mario's head, "I'm alive!" everyone collectively sighed a sigh of relief.

Ike struggled out of the chains and opened the medical kit to only find novelty rubber chickens, "WTF?"

Everyone settled down.

Six hours passed.

"Ok… WHEN IS HE COMING?" asked the refrigerator angrily.

Luigi then pondered at why it was animate some more when Master Hand burst in, throwing a spiked ball onto the appliance, which then died.

"OK SO!" began Master Hand. He then noticed Marth who was on the floor struggling to keep a ravenous Pikachu off of his throat, "Somebody help!" cried Marth, getting scared.

Master Hand coolly threw a biscuit at the two to end the struggle.

Pikachu sniffed the biscuit eagerly, but in his starved state as affect of the three-hour wait, detected no living flesh and went for the glove as his next victim.

Master Hand was ripped to shreds as Pikachu eagerly feasted on magical cloth.

"But he's made of cloth, not meat…" Zelda pointed out,

"Shhh! Don't!" said Marth, covering her mouth.

Marth then covered her eyes, then went on a rampage covering people's eyes.

Master Hand magically came back together, "OK SO! I forgot what I was going to say forget it," Master Hand said and quickly left.

Two hours passed.

"Oh you all are dismissed," added the hand, reentering.

"Thank God!" cried Yoshi as everyone began to get up.

"That reminds me; dinnertime!" the glove said.

After dinner everyone left the room finally.

Luigi passed by Lucario's room, then stopped and backtracked to see him holding a blue porcelain cow statue: it was thirty centimeters high and was in a sitting position.

"What's that?" Luigi asked,

"It's a blue cow statue I found in the trash." Explained Lucario.

"You're a blue cow statue!" Luigi retorted.

Luigi left the hallway.

* * *

That night Luigi reentered the hallway.

He snuck into the Pokemon's room. Luigi opened the closet but found nothing, he opened a pointless dresser drawer and found the cow statue with a sock stretched over it as a disguise.

When Luigi took it off and when he touched it he was instantly electrocuted.

Luigi woke up to the alarm clock going off.

Luigi realized where he was and took the cow statue and ran out the door.

Luigi actually ran out a window.

Luigi made sure not to look down so he would continue to float in the air.

Link walked by from below, saw Luigi levitating, and then ran off, freaked out by the sight.

Luigi then looked at the statue. The cow statue's eyes glowed red as a low echoing voice boomed from its still mouth, "I am The Blue Cow Statue, an ancient, arcane artifact. Who has awakened me?"

"I did…?" Luigi said, scared.

"You now control the vast powers I contain." It boomed.

"'K." Luigi replied,

He then fell from his defying gravity-ness.

"Hmmm… Maybe I could use this… FOR REVENGE ON THE PEOPLE WHO PRANK ME A LOT!" cackled Luigi, "Or not… MAYBE!" Luigi continued to cackle, thinking it over.

* * *

What will happen? That's it.

Stay tuned for the second chapter and review?


	2. Sandwich Romance

So I'm satisfied with this chapter's outcome... Yeah.

Read and enjoy!... OR ELSE.

* * *

The next morning the sun gave the room a yellowish glow as birds chirped outside. Pit got out of his bed, stretching.

He pulled a muscle stretching, "OW ow ow ow ow… owwww…" Pit moaned, then went to his dresser, where since he had only one set of clothing that he never took off even in the shower, to ogle at his collective collection of cucumbers which occupied his piece of furniture.

But instead he found a baby horse. It whinnied while trying to nip his arms. Pit screamed and closed it.

Pit followed the trail of cucumbers out of his room to another.

Link and some female super models were telling jokes and having fun while enjoying fresh cucumbers when Pit knocked on the door.

"Link! Are you having another cucumber party without my permission?" Pit called,

"Shut up you're not the boss of me!" Link screamed.

"YES I AM!" screamed Pit, his scream awakened the ancient Toilet Curse and Pit soon found himself surrounded by toilets.

Link took a silent bite from his snack and pushed the girls into a vent, he rid the cucumbers by scarfing them down.

The fan was turned on and the models were sucked somewhere else.

Link and Pit went downstairs to find Zelda and Peach having a slumber party with them.

"Hey I was the one who rented them at Blockbuster!" Link stated,

"We're just barrowing them!" Zelda replied.

Zelda then left in annoyance.

Luigi sat in a recliner with the blue cow statue on his lap. He slowly rocked back and forth, contemplating ideas of revenge.

Zelda came in from across the room.

Luigi found himself in a complex position from too much thinking, on the recliner with the statue ending up balancing on his head by its muzzle, his head rested on his hand covering his mouth.

Luigi began to breath furiously as he couldn't use his mouth, his leg itched but he was too scared to move it for some reason. Luigi then felt nauseous. He got up and ran for the door to go barf, but hit the doorframe and fell over.

Luigi got up, brushing himself off. He noticed Zelda was just standing there staring at him. An idea for practice use of the statue came to mind just then.

"Maybe if I can make her want me…" Luigi said; he raised the cow statue out in front of him as his command was fulfilled in front of him.

He missed Zelda and hit a lamp.

The lamp ripped its cord from the wall and hopped over onto Luigi, trying to kiss him, but was only smashing the lampshade into his face.

Zelda nervously exited the room and Luigi fought with the love struck lamp.

* * *

"EVERYONE COME TO THE FRONT YARD." Screamed a voice from the intercom,

Luigi finished screaming into the intercom and went to check the mini bar in Master Hand's office, which was where the intercom controls were located.

Opening it a bunch of those prank paper snakes sprung out.

"AH!" Luigi screamed, falling out a window and down a water slide flowing with milk. Landing in a kiddy pool Luigi opened his eyes to find cats surrounding him, sniffing him and the milk hungrily.

Luigi's screams and cats meowing were heard. Luigi came around the corner of the mansion to meet the crowd of Smashers.

Luigi used his statue cow thing to create a podium.

Instead a rainbow colored pony appeared. Lucas couldn't stop snickering at his latest prank with paper snakes and cats.

He used it like a podium anyway, "OK SO-"

Link tried getting his attention.

"-YOU ARE ALL HEAR FOR ONE THING-"

Link tried harder.

"- THAT THING IS- WHAT DO YOU WANT LINK?" Luigi screamed

"Um… there's a horse on your arm…" Link pointed out awkwardly.

Luigi removed the horse from chapter one and continued with his speech, "For a long time many if not all of you prank me on a daily basis."

Everyone stared intently.

"That's it," Luigi added, he then left the pony and went inside.

Luigi then came back outside, "Oh yeah… NOW FOR REVENGE."

Luigi then went back inside.

Luigi then ran back out, "Oh yeah I forgot to actually do it."

A cow rampaged over and ate him.

Pit then broke out laughing, slapping his knee. Pit had a trick knee and it had a spasm when he slapped it. Pit was kicked in the head and knocked out cold.

Suddenly the cow started imploding into the center of itself.

"WHY IS THAT COW IMPLODING INTO THE CENTER OF ITSELF?" asked a panicked Ness.

As the cow shrunk away, it revealed an orange portal of energy, as it grew high winds were the cause of a vacuum emanating from it.

As all of them were sucked into another place, the portal disappeared.

* * *

The portal reappeared; a cow fell out followed by the Smashers.

Link dragged his face from the floor of the mansion's kitchen to see Luigi standing in front oh him, holding the blue cow statue in hand.

"As my first task of revenge, you all have to… MAKE FOOD!" Luigi said,

"That's weird but Ok." Pit replied,

"GO!"

"Ah!" screamed Marth in fear, he stuffed a whole loaf of bread into a toaster, turned it to extra dark, and turned it on out of panic.

Marth quickly stirred ingredients together to make dough. He forced a wedding cake in it, along with several horses and threw it into the oven, setting it for one minute.

"C'mon! C'mon! C'MON!" yelled Marth, completely overreacting.

Marth took it out after four seconds of baking to find in the bowl was a perfect Peach clone.

"Ha ha! I shall now replace Peach and use her royal power to take over Wal-Mart!" declared the Peach clone.

Peach broke off a piece of the clone (her head) and ate it, "Hmm, you baked it just right! You get an A+-!"

"AAH THE TOAST." Screamed Marth, he took the toaster by the end of the cord and beat the Peach clone's corpse until it broke apart, allowing access to the toast.

Marth forgot to plug it in so the toast was actually still bread, "NO! No…" Marth cried, having a breakdown.

The bread turned into the bread monster, which went on a rampage, running out of the manor.

Then everyone started cooking.

Peach poured chocolate frosting into a large bowl, filling it up and then adding and mixing M&Ms, Skittles, sugar, whole candy bars, then topped it with vanilla frosting, chocolate syrup, and broccoli. She went to saute the whole thing.

Ike took several ingredients for making a sandwich; "Ok I'm going to make a sub sandwich!" he announced, then walked out of the room.

Seconds later Ike's hand reached in and yanked Toon Link through the door.

"Put this on!" Ike whispered urgently, holding up a giant sub sandwich costume.

"What? No," Toon Link refused.

"FINE. I'll do it then!" Ike yelled.

Toon Link and Ike, who was in a giant sub sandwich costume, reentered the kitchen.

Ike nudged Toon Link after a second of silence.

"Oh yeah, here's Ike's thing he made…" Toon Link said flatly, pointing at Ike.

"Ike went to the rest room," Ike/the sandwich explained; then whispered to Toon Link, "That ought to fill in any plot holes…"

"AAAAH A TALKING SUB SANDWICH!1" screamed Fox, he tried jumping out a closed window for dramatic-ness, but fell over unconscious from it instead.

"Why are you talking to me? We never talked to each other once since you arrived at this place." Toon Link sighed,

"That's not an appropriate thing to say to such an… attractive sandwich…" Lucario said, suavely approaching Ike, "Are you a female sandwich? I noticed you could talk which is why I'm asking the question."

"Uh, yes? Toon Link what should I do next?!" Ike cried out for help nervously.

"You shouldn't have said you were one!" Toon Link answered, agitated.

"Would you like to have Lunch sometime?" Lucario asked, not noticing Toon Link or Ike's conversation.

"Toon Link what should I do next? Toon Link?" Ike called, then turned to Lucario, "Ummm…." He randomly chose yes or no, "Yes! I would love to…?"

"Ok, how about sometime after this task of revenge Luigi has set upon us," Lucario replied before walking off.

Toon Link was frying vegetables and adding seasoning when Ike grabbed him, "I will pay you by the hour in cat food if you help me say the right things?"

"Sure, but why don't you just say your actually Ike, or a male talking sandwich or whatever?" then when no one was looking the cartoonish Link whispered, "How did you know I did cat food?"

"I just know…" Ike replied mysteriously.

Luigi used his special blue cow powers to over hear, "Ok so what you all are making is the lunch for the date of Lucario and Ike's sandwich!"

"Ok!" Replied everyone, the collective sound causing Daisy, who just came in, to pop.

Zelda took the deflated Daisy and added her into the mixture of her pancake mix.

The lamp found Luigi and tried making out with him some more.

* * *

TO BE CONTINUED!?

How will the date turn out? What other cuisine stuff have the Smashers made? Why is Lucario seemingly oblivious to the part where Luigi has his statue?

Please review, comment, flame, review, ask, review, or whatever!


	3. Kleaning the Basement With a 'K'

Yeah I'm back from a month-long break or more? YAJ new year...

* * *

Last time on The Blue Cow Statue:

_Ike took several ingredients for making a sandwich; "Ok I'm going to make a sub sandwich!" he then walked out of the room._

_Seconds later Ike's hand reached in and yanked Toon Link through the door. _

"_Put this on!" Ike whispered urgently, holding up a giant sub sandwich costume._

"_What? No," Toon Link refused._

"_FINE. I'll do it then!" Ike yelled._

_Toon Link and Ike in a giant sub sandwich reentered the kitchen._

"_Oh yeah, here's Ike's thing he made…" Toon Link said flatly,_

"_That's not nice to say that to such an… attractive sandwich…" Lucario, suavely approaching Ike, "Are you a female sandwich? I noticed you could talk which is why I'm asking the question."_

"_Would you like to have Lunch sometime?" Lucario asked, not noticing Toon Link or Ike's conversation._

"_Toon Link what should I do next? Toon Link?" Ike called, then turned to Lucario, "Ummm…." He randomly chose yes or no, "Yes! I would love to…?"_

"_Ok, how about sometime after this task of revenge Luigi has set upon us," Lucario replied before walking off._

_Luigi used his special blue cow powers to over hear, "Ok so what you all are making is the lunch for the date of Lucario and Ike's sandwich!"_

"_Ok." Replied everyone, causing Daisy, who just came in, to pop._

_Zelda took the deflated Daisy and added her into the mixture of her pancake mix._

* * *

Ike, still in his sub sandwich costume, entered the restaurant that was made by Luigi for the date.

Ike found the table where Lucario was sitting at and sat down there.

"Hi Lucario! Let me just check my purse for a second," Ike opened his purse and held it in front of him, he checked to see that Toon Link was inside it so he could secretly help him on what to say.

Peach came over, "I'll be your waitress for today, all courses will be given to you so you will have to taste them all."

Bowser then came in and set down the first course, Zelda's pancakes.

"I thought you said you were the waitress?" Ike said,

Peach then ran off laughing, stealing all of the waiters and waitresses from the restaurant.

Ike cut off a piece of one pancake and as he went to stab it with his fork Daisy popped out of the slice, "BOO!"

"AHHAH!" screamed Ike, falling backwards.

As Ike lay on the floor, a hand grabbed his ankle and began pulling him under the clothed table. Ike clawed at the carpet, grasping to chairs, which moved and didn't help his stability.

Under the table Ike turned to see it was Lucario, who said, "Shhh, I know you're Ike. This was all an elaborate plan to get you to help me get back my artifact."

"Ok…?" Ike replied nervously.

"So will you help me?" Lucario asked.

"Ok…?" Ike replied nervously.

…

"Ok…?" Ike replied nervously.

"You can stop saying that now."

"Oh Ok…"

Ike set up an elaborate rig while slyly doing it from under the cloth and using only napkins, appetizers, forks, spoons, a peppershaker, a paperclip, and a state of the art sound mixer prototype, the latter of the two he fortunately found in his pocket.

Ike's sandwich costume soared around the room out from under the table and disappeared through a wall with eerie ghost noises emanating from it.

After the dramatics, Lucario anti-climatically came out from under the table, "I ate the sub sandwich and that was it's ghost."

Ike dug a hole under the table as his escape, using the sound mixer as a shovel. Yes he creatively made those sound effects with only an appetizer cracker and not the sound mixer.

* * *

The next day Ike woke up to the sound of appetizer crackers chanting and surrounding his bed, "The great one has freed us by perfectly executing 'The Call of The Appetizer Cracker' song."

Ike ate them all and got up.

Coming into the dining room Ike found Link eating cereal, "Hey Ike. Wait, how come you're up so early? It's not because you have to keep a secret or anything and are nervous?" Link said suspiciously.

"No? Why- why would you think of something like that? Seriously what you said makes no sense though," Ike admitted.

Link went for another spoonful of cereal when one rice puff came out, jumping on his chest and knocking him to the ground. Link cried out for help in a panicked state as the rice puff thrashed him around the floor, it then gripped him by his shirt into the air and threw him onto the table, still grasping his tunic in its nonexistent clutches, the food morsel dragged Link through all the stuff on the table, making a dramatic mess everywhere.

The attacking rice puff let Link slide off the table by momentum. It flew to the back of the room and then bolted at Link. He stood up and swallowed the cereal particle when it was in contact range.

Peach came in laughing, a large remote control in hand, "Got you with my remote control cereal!"

Angered, Link took his spoon and threw it at Peach; it missed and speared her remote control, sparks and electricity exploded from it. Suddenly the cereal in the bowl glided out as if it were in zero gravity, the cereal box was shredded by cereal shooting out of it from all sides like bullets.

The cereal rice puffs clustered into a floating orb, ready to attack. Luigi stepped in and the cereal shot out in a straight line at Luigi. They were met with an invisible energy wall made by the blue cow statue and were ground to a fine powder.

"Now anyway-" Luigi began, but inhaled the powder while talking and started coughing.

While he was distracted Ike ran over, took the statue, and then ran for the door on the other end of the room. He ran straight into the door without opening it and lay there unconscious because he's stupid.

Luigi took the statue back, "So for my next amusing punishment thingamajig you have to eat everyone or else!"

"Who?" Link asked nervously. While pretending to be nervous, he actually hoped he would get the part.

"Peach." Luigi replied,

"Yay!" Peach exclaimed, as she jumped for joy her remote control bacon controller fell out of her pocket and broke. Crazed bacon strips swarmed out of the refrigerator.

* * *

Mario sat on the sofa when Peach snuck up behind him and ate him. Mario then ate through her stomach, "What are you doing?" asked Peach angrily.

"Oh we weren't playing the eating game?" Mario asked,

"No…" Peach sighed and duct taped the hole in her back up. Some bacon ran at Peach, Mario stuck out his hand and pulled it in to eat it, but Peach digested it first, "HA!"

* * *

Wolf entered a room to find Lucas being chased by the bacon, which has clumped together to form a penguin shape and was chasing him around the room.

Wolf then slowly turned around to find a giraffe made of bacon back him into the room.

Peach came in and ate everything in the room leaving it empty completely of all organisms and objects.

* * *

Toon Link sat on the sofa watching TV and wondering where Mario went as he mindlessly ate popcorn.

Suddenly Peach raised out of the popcorn. Toon Link didn't notice and ate her; not noticing the difference between her and the food.

"For the second official challenge of revenge you all have to… clean out the basement!" Luigi commanded from the intercom.

Everyone appeared in the basement of the mansion.

"Everyone appeared in the basement of the mansion." Said Pikachu, wanting to be a narrator.

"Oh look old dusty boxes!" Fox spoke, not wanting to be a narrator.

Link opened one, which was full of old spaghetti.

Zelda opened another and found a bunch of hats. She also found the hat monster: a rubber chicken with a hat on it. Zelda ran off screaming into a wall.

Bowser opened one box and a lot of robots came flooding out and attacked everyone.

The Smashers then had a tea/costume party.

"Good enough?" Luigi said, not only about the challenge but the quality of the entire story.

* * *

Etuejghkghslghgjj888ehgoeighew!1(Translation: Review?)


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